You're dating a douche bag. Yes, you. Dump him. He's not that into you and you aren't really that into him since you still want your ex... If you think this message is for you, IT IS.....
Ask yourself this when someone says you can't do it. What's holding you back? Exactly. Nothing but them and you, but only because you are letting them.
Dear Self. You know what they say about perfectionism...don't you? Why you don't have to be perfect, and in fact it's necessary that you don't try to be.